PErang Mulut

Whats the meaning behind you chambering life without a real mouth fight over something so small?
I wouldn’t say that your chambering life will be meaningless…but it will be…well...uneventful.
Its not important that you win the fight.
But its important that you stood up for yourself. Cause if you don’t set up your bottom line. People would think that you don’t have any.

I feel like recording the particular incident before I forgot all the details. In fact, I think I had forgotten some of it already.

Anyway, in our firm there was a LA who had just got his PC around give or take three months ago. Remember the one who had left me on the lurch the night before my short call? Yeah that’s him.

Today I decided to go home the moment the clock struck 5.30pm. I had a few ongoing jobs but I prefer to do it at home. There were no urgent files for me to complete. I did hang around for a few minutes until it’s around 6pm. when I had clocked out the LA told me from across cubicles for me not to go home. I decided to ignore him because I thought it was about the only matter that Liza and me were doing with him which I had completed.

But he told PS secretary to call me up and told me to come back.

I came back around 15 minutes later (coz I want to send my shirts to the laundry first).

So I went up and ask him whats up. He told me to wait. So I waited. After that he told me to go to conference room and closed the door.

Then he yelled at me:

YSY: SAYA SURUH AWAK TUNGGU KENAPA AWAK TAK TUNGGU?

ME: Saya ingat awak gurau jek. Nampak macam main-main jek tak bagi saya balik?

YSY: TAPI AWAK DAH NAMPAK SAYA SURUH TUNGGU KENAPA AWAK TAK TUNGGU? KAU NAK KURANG AJAR DENGAN AKU YE!

ME: Sebab dah after 5.30pm and saya dah pun clock-out.

YSY: O, MACAM NI CARA KAU KERJA YA. KAU INGAT NI COMPANY BAPAK KAU KE. LAIN KALI SURUH BAPAK KAU JE LA BAYAR GAJI KAT KAU.

ME: PASAL BAPAK-BAPAK TAKPAYAH LA NAK MAIN. SEKARANG NI WAKTU KERJA ADALAH SEHINGGA 5.30PM JEK. DAN AKUPUN BUKAN BALIK TEPAT-TEPAT 5.30PM. AKU TUNGGU JUGAK. DISEBABKAN KERJA AKU DAH SIAP DAN MEMANDANGKAN KAU TAKDE PULAK BAGITAU AWAL-AWAL SEBELUM WAKTU HABIS KERJA SURUH AKU TUNGGU JADI AKUPUN TAKDE LA TUNGGU.

YSY: KAN KAU NAMPAK AKU DAH SURUH TUNGGU. KENAPA KAU BALIK JUGAK BILA AKU DAH SURUH TUNGGU?

ME: SEBAB AKU MEMANG DENGAN SENGAJA NAK BALIK.

YSY: TADI KAU CAKAP KAU INGAT AKU BERGURAU!?

ME: TADI AKU CUBA CARA BAIK. SEKARANG AKU BAGITAU LA PERKARA YANG SEBENARNYE SEBAB KO DAH JERIT-JERIT KAT AKU.

YSY: KAU SENDIRI PUN TAU AKU TAKDE NAK MENYUSAHKAN BUDAK CHAMBERING.

ME: AKU TAU KO TAKDE NAK MENYUSAHKAN KITORANG

YSY: BILE AKU SURUH TUNGGU TU MAKNANYE ADA KERJA!

ME: KERJA APE? HA BAGITAU LA KERJA APE? MANE? MANE?

YSY: EH, SEKARANG KAU NAK MENGARAH-ARAH AKU PULAK? KAU TAK HORMAT DEKAT AKU YE. KURANG AJAR. KAU INGAT AKU NI SAPE? ABANG KAU KE?

ME: AKU TAKDE PULAK ANGGAP KAU TU SAUDARA MARA AKU. AKUPUN HORMAT JE DEKAT ORANG YANG HORMAT AKU. KALAU KAU DAH GUNA CARA MACAM NI. AKU TERPAKSA LA GUNA CARA YANG SAMA.

YSY: KAU INGAT AKU NAK BAGI KAU KERJA APE?

ME: KALAU PASAL PUSPAKOM TU AKU AKU DAN LIZA DAH CHECK DUA KALI. KAU BAGI DUA DRAFT YANG BERBEZA. TAPI TAKPE, AKU CHECK JUGAK DUA-DUA. FOUND OUT SATU TAK LENGKAP. SO KITORANG BASED LA DEKAT YANG PALING LENGKAP AND BUAT COMMENT DEKAT SITU. SEKALI KO CAKAP YANG TAK LENGKAP ITULAH YANG TERBARU. TAKPE, KITORANG BUAT JUGAK KAT YANG TERBARU. TETIBE FOUND OUT SEBLOM BALIK YANG DUA-DUA PUN BUKAN DRAFTNYE. JADI BILA KO PANGGIL TU AKU ASSUMED PASAL KO NAK SURUH AKU BUAT BALIK DEKAT DRAFT YANG BETUL. SO AKUPUN MALAS NAK LAYAN.

YSY: (started to slow down) Aku bukan nak bagi ko kerja Puspakom. Aku nak bagi ko kerja BERNAS. Ini Puan yang suruh.

ME: Kalau Puan yang suruh, apsal ko tak jerit kat aku..”sarah, tunggu kejap…ada kerja Puan” barulah aku nak tunggu.

YSY: Aku malas la nak guna nama pulak.

ME: (Seeing that he had slowed down, i decided to slow down too) Kalau macam tu mungkin akupun silap tak tunggu tapi kau pun ada salah kau jugak dengan aku. Jadi ko tak perlu la nak jerit-jerit. Kena ada give and take. Kalau setakat first mistake..tak payah la nak jerit-jerit. Tegur je elok-elok tak boleh?

YSY: Huh!

Me: (silent)

YSY: dahlah, bertekak pun tak gune. Sekarang ni kerja Puan ni macam ni…..

And we started to discuss like nothing happened. But Allah knows how unfocused I am. The truth is I was so shaken. But of course, he wouldn’t see that.

It turned out that it was only a research work that will only be due on next week Monday. Which also could wait until I came back tomorrow. I just don’t want to prolong the matter so I didn’t point that out to him how absurd all the arguments are. I understand that he just couldn’t accept the fact that I had left him just like that. So he told the secretary to called me up back to the office just to assert his authority which I in turn do not appreciate due to my defense mechanism.

Then, after he had finished explaining what was required of me. He said: “Saya mintak maaf untuk meninggi suara” then I said quickly after that “saya pun”.

Then we acted like nothing happened when we were out of the conference room.

Okay, I could have said meaner things than what I have already said. Like “bukan kau yang bayar gaji aku pun” and “eleh kalau setakat gaji ciput macam ni memang bapak aku boleh bayar” or “aku memang tak answerable kat ko …ko tu sape nak jerit-jerit kat aku? Master aku pun tak pernah jerit kat aku.”

But I decided to try to be as diplomatic as I can be first. Besides, I am glad that I didn’t use the mean words. Because he did apologized after that. Plus, the fact that I had shouted back to him is quite enough already. I am quite sympathetic with his huge ego. So I think I had bruised quite a pride by showing no fear towards him.

When I drive back home after the incident. I do regret that I didn’t say the following:

“hormat ni bukan sesuatu yang bila kita minta orang terus bagi. Respect is something that is earned from each different individual. So why should I respect you when you had not earned mine?”

But of course, I wouldn’t have the ability to produce that line in the heat of an argument. Because despite what people think on my answers above. I honestly believe that I had zero ability to perang mulut. Yes, I can state my opinion clearly in a discussion etc. but that was only when the situation is not intense and involved only civilized people. I cannot react quite effectively when people started to shout and say things like ‘kurang ajar’ or ‘bapak kau’ or ‘kau ingat aku ni sape?” and the likes of it. One of the reason is I am amazed at how people can lowered their self-image easily..so at that pondering state I am quite tongue tied. I am always amaze at the people who can say exactly what they wanted on a perang mulut.

I am like Kathleen in You’ve got Mail when she told Joe Fox that she couldn’t say what she wanted to say to mean people and she is amaze at Joe Fox for that ability:

Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know exactly what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks]

Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.

Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

(Quoted from IMDB)


And later in the movie Kathleen had became the mean person that she wanted to be:

Joe Fox: I think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me.

Kathleen Kelly: If I really knew you, I know exactly what I'd find: instead of a brain a cash register, instead of a heart a bottom line.

[gasps]

Joe Fox: What?

Kathleen Kelly: I just had a breakthrough.

Joe Fox: What is it?

Kathleen Kelly: I have you to thank for it. For the first time in my life, when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said it.

Joe Fox: I think you have the gift for it. It was a perfect blend of poetry and meanness.


(quoted from IMDB)


Actually there is no significant difference whether you said exactly whats in your mind and not saying it to mean people.

So in way, after I sat down and started to blog about this, I really don’t care if I had hurt YSY bad enough or not. I don’t care if he’s hurt or not. I only care about getting through the whole chambering. The difference about me than everybody else is that I had escaped from the mean partner in my previous firm. Therefore, the only thing that I have to deal now…is YSY and he is nothing compared to what I have been through. Without YSY my chambering life would be so dull. And the situation will be a blatant contrast between my previous firm and the current firm. So I have YSY in my current firm to argue with because all other partners and another lawyer is not prone to shouting. To tell the truth, I am quite happy that YSY is quite my own size (in terms of position) where I can be more rude if I wish to be so than I had been with AM (the partner in previous firm). In short, I don’t have to be too respectful.

So, I am still not sorry that I had turned down the chance to attend the interview in AG. and people who knew me always know my scores with interviews. So believe it or not, i can get that job if i tried. But I am still not sorry that I had to go through this, and forget about above 2k per month...with only less than 1k.

Luckily its free

So i have not much mean complaints about going to a concert. Not much, but I have it. But thats for later. Here's a list of good things:

1) I want to say that...."well...now i know whats it like to go to a concert" and "oh thats how it is" and "uh okay".
2) luckily the seat is here:



















3) hey its free... no complaints there.
4) I like the parking space.
5) its near my house.
6) cant help but like Jac Victor. She's so punctual.7) well, the song does sound better in a live concert. After i got back, i listened to Kelly's song on my mp3 but it sounded so dull after the concert.
8) overall, the concert is just ordinary. I could say worse than that but my judgment is muddled with the free ticket.9) i am glad Nadia enjoyed it.10) I am happy that Nadia knows most of the lyrics.
11) definitely worth it to bring Nadia along. haha
12) definitely loved doing mischievous smuggling for Nadia.
13) glad that its finished before 11pm.14) congratulation to Jac Victor and Suki for good performance. (Suki's outfit is weird though).15) I am happy that the first concert that i went is Kelly Clarkson's because i liked all her songs.
16) Thank you Parkson for letting my mother win the SMS contest.
17) I do enjoy the whole show.(see the pic...dont i looked enjoyed?)

18) How did she get to look so young at the age of 28?
19) She can be funny. thats good to know.
20) quite cool too.
21) I dunno if it was choreographed, nevertheless, i like the way that its laid back or appeared to be non choreographed. the way it moved from one song to another as if unplanned. but the outfit is way too laid back...i mean..barefoot? we'll see my mean list later.

Somebody reported that there were about 22 Songs that were sung out by Kelly. But I cant confirm. I do feel that its lesser than that. The total time for the whole concert is 1 hour 20 minutes. (all these are facts that i stole from a couple of blogs. I want to link them but they appeared to be die hard fans...considering what i write here...i thought the better of it. lol)


Thanks to Nadia Zawani for the picture.
















Song List (in no particular order and incomplete / to be updated):

All I Ever WantedKylie Minogue - I Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Because of You
Since You Been Gone
Breakaway
Already Gone
Behind These Hazel Eyes
Walk Away
Addicted
Medley: Alanis Morisette - That I Would Be Good (plus) King of Leon - Use Somebody

I'm sure..no i know... that i missed quite a few songs. I didn't know whats the title as i am just fan of the songs. I'm sure many of her fans would know it by heart.

Okay!
proceed to mean list:
1) definitely uncomfortable with the banging sound on my head...it goes like "dong! dong! dong! dong!"
2) the seat is uncomfortable. i mean hey, people actually paid RM338 to sit there. I feel sorry for the people who actually paid. hurt my butt some more due to the long period of sitting.
3) cameras not allowed! WTF? (but we got some pictures nevertheless, mwahahaha) despite the tight surveillance on top of that.
4) I find myself unable to sing along with the crowd...okay this is just me.
5) I wouldn't know how good or bad this concert is however, despite sitting in a quite civilized area (amongst the people with money etc etc) i find myself unable to like going to a concert.6) I definitely pitied our Malaysian singer because Kelly Clarkson can go on stage barefoot and the simplest outfit for the whole show and still people paid minimum RM98 and max RM358 to her show...and sit on a very tight space and hardened chair with no cameras allowed.
7) I definitely pitied the people who paid for the concert because Kelly Clarkson is out of breath on the third song.
8) Is quite annoyed when she complaints about the Malaysian humidity for the second time. the thing is, its a general knowledge that the eastern part of the world is humid and the western part of the world is colder.
9) apart from the sound is better at live concert, i still cant grasp why people want to go to a concert. despite my sitting arrangement...she's still too far away. seeing on TV is better.
10) I think that the people should sacrifice their desire to listen to a live song and donate the money to the poor and needy. RM338-358....definitely a three months meal for one hungry poor child.
11) arent they supposed to do sound check BEFORE the concert actually started? Suki's violin arent connected properly to the amplifier and the people there had to reconnect it in the middle of the show. And later the whole team of Kelly's people hop on stage to do sound check before her actual show. I thought they have been in Malaysia since yesterday? what..people had to wait for THEM too?
well, i could write longer list. But I wont. As you can see, the good list is longer. so it has its good points with me.
On a different note, concert organizer should pay me to show their weaknesses. just like they paid hackers to breach their security system so that they know whats wrong with it. Seriously, people should give me free expensive tickets to concerts just to have me criticized them. then i might turn this whole blog as concert critique. and i'll keep doing that until i actually love going to concert. hahaha
Tips for the next people who is going to a crowded place like this:
1) bring your own food and drinks. or better, make sure you dont need any food and drinks before you go.
2) its ok to come into the show on the dot as the time specified for the concert to start because the earliest it could start is 30 minutes later.
3) dont buy anything they sell outside. I mean, drinking water RM2?
4) good idea to bring a binocular
5) car pool is good to reduce the traffic jam after the concert.

Question of the day:
Where is Kelly Clarkson's shoes?




Nadia Zawani and Moi (I had to open my eyes like that becausei always blinked in on camera)

Tired~

Cant imagine how exhausted i am....
Went to a talk in State Bar today. its supposed to start at 5pm. but later it was postponed to 5.30. I was there at 4.30pm.
But the speaker came at around 7pm.
Its finished at near 9pm. (whats should have been from 5-6pm or 5.30pm-6.30pm)
I had to squeezed in and out of a very packed row of people on the chairs to go to pray and come back.
My shoulder and waist are sore due to the long sitting and waiting. It turned out to be nothing much (for me, dunno about others) because its not something that we cannot find by a little research. However, i do appreciate certain discussions on points that we wont get by any textual authorities. Regardless, sorry to say that the wait is more for the compulsory certificate rather than the content of the talk (since i am not that satisfied).

Another event of the day is that i had received a phone call from the AG chambers telling me to come to an interview on 27 April 2010.
The thing is...i had never applied at AGC before. but i did applied at SPA. but the job at AGC is not my first choice. I wanted something else. However, i am kinda tempted by the salary. I feel like I can barely do anything with the amount that i'm receiving now.
And i feel like I had so little time to think whether i even should come to the interview. I asked the kind officer to list my name as attending and will confirm again with him later.
But I kinda had decided by now that the time has not come for me to join service just yet. Besides, I am currently enjoying a very healthy working environment. I am not at my comfort zone and I feel like i am using my utmost thinking ability. I love using my brain even though sometimes i can barely stand the amount of pressure.
I guess I am just not into mainstream.
But why did i even bother to apply?
actually I applied to SPA before i received my final result, before chambering. I renewed my application some months ago. Some months ago, when i havent had this life i had thought that joining is better for me. I went to the exam when they send me a letter telling me to come. I did some research the night before the exam. up to that moment i kinda dont mind being accepted into it. but i kinda had some moments of realization upon reading all that questions and upon answering it. Its not that i cannot answer it. I just wonder why the questions is like that? and what kind of people that they want? why dont they want people that i think they should want? why do i have to answer like this? why wont they accept if i answered differently?
that being said, i still want to join if i get my first choice. because i believe there is still opportunity to expand there.
Its not that i dont appreciate that the people are willing to call me up. to give me a chance. for one reason, to go means to risk losing what i had now. to change my course altogether. to waste the time and money that the Firm had invested in me. Although i didnt know whether they want to retain me at all, it doesnt matter. the thing that matter is now: receiving and giving back. Besides, to being called up means that I had proven to myself that I am capable of getting that job. So its not true that only the best scorer can get it. People like me had a chance too. technically, I had proven that i am as good as them.
So i think i can move on to focus on what i had already started and finish it.
This opportunity, perhaps it can wait. If it is really my destiny, one day it will be mine. But now......i want to have this adventure.

I might be an unevolved life form and a cheater

A few hours ago i attended an introductory session under Selangor Bar at Kuala Lumpur Bar. Its a joint programme between the two Bars. It was fun and entertaining. At the first session we had to take a person on our back as our partner and exchange four true facts and one false facts. we had to guess which one is false. I guessed correctly. my partner didnt. I had met Lavania for the first time during the filing of Form 3,4,5. So i had a rough idea about her. Nevertheless, I had always liked guessing game and objective answers because somehow i am quite good at that.
Anyway, for the second session we had a game that i had never played before. We must win the water, bird, rock game (kinda like paper rock scissor) in order to graduate into a better life form. there are four stages of life form. First: cocroach = an unevolved life form, second: fish = more evolved, third: chicken, fourth: human. all human will be able to get to the other side of the room and look down upon all other lower stage life forms who were not able to turn. The moment Mr. R announced that its going to be the paper rock scissor game i knew that i'm going to lose it. Its because i've never won that game ever since i was a child. Anyway, cocroach must beat another cocroach to turn into fish...fish must beat fish...and so on.
I dont know how it happen but everything went on so fast. I kinda forgot which character i am. Okay, to put it simply i forgot which one is a better life form. so when somebody asked me which one i was, i said i was a fish...and it goes on until i became a chicken and then human. suddenly there was only two people left. supposedly there must be a cocroach, a fish and a chicken left. but there was only a fish and a chicken. It was a fun game until Mr. R said there might be an unevolved life form amongst the human. Suddenly i thought...OMG it may have been my fault. i felt so unevolved and cocroachy! :S
I could have been an honest cocroach. it doesnt matter if i was a cocroach. I have always hold on to the principle of honesty. people know that i am the person who will speak the blatant truth. If i hadnt forget...i might have been an honest fish or chicken.
Actually, i feel kinda low. I hate for not being able to be a proud honest life form. Even though i hate cocroach but cocroach is the most durable creature and it hasnt extinct since time immemorial. Suddenly i feel like turning back the time and announced that i am the cocroach!
but its too late. at that moment i was tongue-tied and was trying to remember where did i do wrong.
I feel so deeply about this because i feel so guilty. its just like when i played in the chess competition where i take the King of that 16 year old boy because he couldnt see my open check and won the game. It wasnt my effort that won me that round. it was a trick.
since when did i become such a character? i was never those. Suddenly i am afraid if i should be a lawyer at all.
Okay, i've let it out of my chest. if anybody who did attend that session today read this entry is all the better. i feel like telling each and every one of them that it might have been me anyway.
the way i see it, its still not to late to be the honest unevolved life form. :P

Inner Battle

Voice or reason ("VR") #1: Sarah, go and do all those pending research now!

VR #2: but its weekend. I wanna play and only do what i want to do!

VR #1: but you'll get scolded if you didnt finish ur job. and you have not much time next week because u'll be out of office for some of the days.

VR #2: but they only gave all those instructions on Friday.

VR #1: they dont care.

VR #2: pssshhh. hell, why should i care. its not like they paid me much. they should be grateful that i always have my job done. why should i sacrifice my weekend and personal time too? its not like i'm married to my job. is this a job anyway?

VR #1: well, are you prepared to face their judgment next week?

VR #2: naaaah, i dont know~ i mean, i dont know if i care or scared. i feel like pulling my cool and couldnt care less face. besides, its already 7pm. what will i get done with just a few hours? and i havent even send my car to car wash.

VR #1: well, you can go along with your excuses. both of us can get screwed for all we care.

VR #2: yeah thats right. kudos to us!

VR #1: (OMG OMG)

p/s: this is post number one hundred #100....yay!

(smile)

We went back late today. I thought of finishing up my work and immediately submit to my boss the first thing next morning. Liza stayed back to do the same because she's thinking of getting an MC...which she did.

So I said, since she's going to rest tomorrow we might as well eat at Pak Ya even though its late.

Both of us had a very healthy meals. Our dinner was sesame chicken soup and something something beef soup.

By the time both of us hit MRRII there was no traffic jam. So we just race each other home.

Okay, this is so boring.

I know, coz i'm tired but i still want to write.

I just wanna say that sometimes....unexpected things make u smile.

I was so tired and was happy that i had parked my car for the last time for the day. I waited for a bit in the car to finish listening to Keith Urban's Raining on Sunday (dont really like the lyric...just the music).

There was a restaurant beside the stairs to my shop apartment where students of Segi College likes to hang out.

I usually just mind my own business and just ignore them.

But today, I was quite peaceful so i took liberty to look at them just for the sake of looking.

But when i entered my stairs one of the boys immediately sing:

Gadisku

Seri mewangi bagai disiram selautan kasturi

Gadisku

Terindah padamu kerna tak pernah meminta selain cinta

Dialah gadisku (selalu) selama-lamanya

Okay, i know this is so corny. However, I cant help myself from smiling. Its just that, I appreciate the gesture. Anyway, nobody can say that i'm insensitive. at least he got taste. i mean, in music.

Birthday?

Alright, I know that I have written about all the 'only from the Facebook will they know about moi birthday' and all that.
But.....
I had quite an unhappy day today. Not that i expect it to be any better day out of all days. However, I can say that this year my birthday is quite an anticipated event for me seeing that everything about my pupillage is on April. Its quite significant because the month i were to be a year older is also filled with so many unforgettable events.
Today, I didnt have any expectations from people around me. However, i do anticipate myself to go and eat at Ruz Aladdin near my workplace. in short, when i aimed that i'd do that i'll just do that. So i was quite pissed when Liza wanted to borrow my car (i know she'll be pissed back at me if she's reading this). Anyway, i am pissed because I had told her to pass her thing to Nik yesterday because the due date IS ON yesterday. but she refused! and when i suddenly phoned people at the BC today she suddenly got the idea that SHE MUST do it today! and out of all the days she decided NOT TO BRING HER CAR is on the day that SHE NEEDED IT THE MOST. Out of all the people, she is the only one that i dont mind lending my car to. but its just not today. Today is not the day that I dont mind not having a car or not having her for lunch and especially not getting a Briyani Gam into my stomach.
I asked what she was thinking this morning? did she seriously think that she can just get away with something that is due YESTERDAY with the BC? did she plan to just be laidback about it today? how can she have no plan at all about the thing that i vehemently asked her to do yesterday today?
but there she was...making that unimpressed face. I feel like kicking her. but I just dont have the heart to let her suffer all the public transportation and wont make it to the BC before 1pm. so i gave her my car key.
and I was left car less on my birthday.
and two of my officemates suddenly had to obliged me and take me to Ruz Aladdin.
and I had to watch them eat noodles while i eat the whole Briyani Gam set and feeling so bad that i had dragged them and their tight budget to the place.
and even though i bought their drinks...i still feel that i had put a hole to their pockets.
So i am not happy.

but then, i came back home after work....
and i found this:

despite everything that i said. this does put a smile on my face. after all that had happened. of course, it wasnt the same as if someone had your birthday date glued on their mind but i appreciate the effort. I remember that i sometimes wish people just because i so happen to see that its their birthday.

Thats that

I never ran out of idea for my post's title. Maybe its because i posted so little.

Todays Quote:

"I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest". – Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870)

I'm not sure if i like any one of those. but when i think about it, imbeciles do annoys me more than rogue. Maybe its because i dont know many rogues compared to imbeciles.

I think Dumas always spoke my mind. People who don't get me at all should read Dumas or Dickens. Only then will they understand my POV.

Talking about reading, i'm so sad that I can barely read two pages a week. i used to be able to read the whole big chunk of book in the speed of light. I currenly had around five unread books. so unthinkable! I dont want to be like my mother who no longer read the moment life catched up with her which is like 26 years ago.

Our firm is like an art gallery in a library.
PS had a lot of books that i am so eager to sink my eyes into. However, its like seeing the heaven but cant get into it. I simply had no time to borrow one. heck, i didnt even have time to read my SPA notes for my SPA exam on the 10th April.
Maybe when i'm about to left the firm then I can ask PS if I can always drop by to borrow a book.

I hide my birthday date on facebook just now. However, when i saw that I still had many items that are missing for my Maison in Farmville i changed my mind. Instead of hiding it, i promote my birthday to encourage people to give me the items that i need in Farmville.
See, i'm so easy to please.

Short call went so well. My Mover aka my Master made a fuss at the High Court today. A lot of pupils today is from my alma mater so if i were to be embarrased at all the degree wont be much. However, i'm not embarrased by him at all. in fact i'm so proud of him. I was so amused and I won't ever forget the day I was short called to the Bar. Go AMY!!!

Hafiq said: "OMG Sarah, he is soooo like you!"

and yes, i do feel so very appreciated by my Master. Again, I am so very happy that I made the decision to move away from my previous predicament and consequently evade any possibility of having a hard time at chambering.

However, I was almost embarrassed by my previous post because at 6pm yesterday our LA called and said he couldnt be my mover. all of a sudden i feel so abandoned and have a very hard moments of figuring how to beg people at the court on 6th April to be my mover. AMY had confirmed that he cant be my mover around noon yesterday.
At that time I was at my alma mater's library doing a last minute research at a last minute request by NFE.
But, I didnt know that AMY's secretary was so fond of me. Upon hearing that YSY had left me in the lurch she immediately contacted AMY and told him about it. After AMY replied to her she called and told me AMY will come to my rescue! I was saved at 7pm.
I immediately texted AMY to tell him the details of my short call.
And I thought the practice of taking care of your pupil had died in this country.
I was the second pupil to arrived in the courtroom today and AMY was the second mover to arrive.
okay, enough about how we have so much in common. lol.

Anyway, there are many other unforgettable details from the night before my short call until the end of the in chamber hearing. However, i wish to keep it to myself.

So tomorrow is introductory session at Selangor Bar. I expect a lot of people from my alma mater will be there (i'll be using the word 'alma mater' a lot for a while because i've began to enjoy being a graduate and had not yet miss my alma mater. I know, i'm such a late bloomer. hehe) cant wait to catch up.

Btw, I dont care about comparing salary and who got a better deal out of chambering. All i care about is surviving it. I even formed a coalition with Nik. we kinda helped each other out after we graduated. we never even talked to one another when we were in the university. Me and Liza also helped each other a lot. it is so convenient that we were in the same firm and have different filing dates. because she can be my precedent and i can give back by collecting her things at the court, BC or State Bar when i filed or collect my things. it saved time and cost too.
When you are nice. the world will be a better place.
I am so random.

DDay

I dont know particularly what had woken me up at 3am this morning. Its could be one of the reason here: light bulb of my sleeping lamp at the hall suddenly went out so I woke up to see that the house is too dark; or it could be the heat because i'm sweating despite two fans are directed at me.
But what had been keeping me awake til now is the heat and the scared feeling I had the moment i thought somebody might purposely put the light out to rob the house.
Despite the chill that I got from that, I switched on the light and checked the house. I know its no use if the robber is already inside but i rather know for sure if there is a criminal in my house. yeah, i know i'm paranoid. I'm thinking of installing alarm system in the house when i can afford it.
A lot will be going around this week for me. So i'm a bit pissed that i couldnt sleep to get through the first day of the week.
Today is my mother's birthday. I'm not sure if i'm going to parents' after work. maybe i'll just text her.
Tomorrow is my short call. the next stage that every chambering student must go through to be a full fledged lawyer. Liza said its nothing much. you just appear in front of the court with a lawyer representing you. you basically dont say anything. the lawyer will speak for you. My Master said last week that he'll confirm with me today if he can be the lawyer. if not, one of our LA will do it. Anyway, i'm just happy that i had one lawyer just for me. I heard some of us had to share one lawyer for five students. I dont think i'd like that although i dont have any particular reason. dunno, maybe i feel more appreciated by the firm.
Liza said, it will just be a short process. after that, i'll just have to file my draft order then i can go back to the office.
Anyway, I had to get done as much work as i can. so that i wont be buried in it by the end of the week. I had drafted an opinion last night. that should save my monday morning. but i didnt do research for my master and study for SPA. i'll probably flunked SPA anyway. its just a matter of the degree of how unprepared I was. So i think i'll research at the office.
The day after tomorrow is an introduction day at the State Bar. Its at 3pm. so maybe Liza and I will go together before lunch. I'm thinking a lot of our friends will be there too since I've met a lot of them who told me they are chambering in Selangor.
The day after that is moi birthday.
Liza said I have always been unappreciative/ungrateful whenever it come to birthday. She once gave me a cute birthday cake and i told her directly that i dont like cakes. A friend of mine gave me a teddy bear and after keeping it for two years in my closet at parents' i asked Liza if she wants it. when asked why i told her i dont know what to do with a teddy bear which is true. but she didnt take it. Although i do love the teddy bear when that friend gave it to me. An office mate gave me a cow sculpted mug and i told Liza that i wanted to keep it in its box and wait for anyone's birthday to recycle it as birthday present. she just rolled her eyes. why not? it was a prank anyway since i'm that fat. i'll probably give it to someone who is thin who wont feel anything if i gave him/her a cow mug. anyway, that didnt happen because i broke one of my mug so i just use that cow mug to replace it. I was encouraged by Liza's exasperation.
Anyway, I thought my closest friend should know how weird i am. they should also know what things that i'd like which is not much and not expensive. people can be so clueless sometime.
But dont get me wrong. I dont really care about birthdays. I just complaint when I receive things that i dont know what to do with.
So Liza said she dont want to give me anything for my birthday. I guess she sulked forever about the cake. haha. I know she's not reading so i can just say that i dont actually care. for me, coming through a door and have the whole room sing 'happy birthday' is heart warming enough (happened to me once and i was shocked seeing that a lot of people actually liked me).
last year i removed my birthday status from facebook on the first week of April. Its because i feel that i'll appreciate the person who wished me on my birthday without reading it from facebook. i think one person did. and thats enough to content me for the whole year.
This year, i'm not sure if i'll do it. I guess i'll just let it be.
well, this is just me. i'll only be satisfied with the best.

My Stash

So I went to Corus Hotel in between BC and Court today just to get a Paul & Joe Creamy Compact Foundation. Late last year I've bought the same but the shade (#01) is too light for me. It was only RM30 and i got it a warehouse sale in a hotel in PJ. i'm thinking of getting a shade darker tone (#02) to cover my reddish face. My office mate had ordered the same powder and a liptstick after i had told her about the brand. Btw, I kinda love being a personal shopper for ladies' stuff. And I bought two perfumes for men for a guy friend of mine. So I guess I like to buy guy's stuff too? lol.
Anyway, I arrived 15 minutes early and met Anna there. she's getting some Paul & Joe stuff too. What a coincidence. I asked her many questions about what she's getting and told her what i'm getting.
My budget? RM30
what i actually spend? = RM 166
Crazy....I know :-S
The explanation:
They dont have Creamy Compact Foundation this time around. So I just stand there and see if there is anything that I like. Basically everything that I got today is based on impromptu recommendations by a cute lady who appears to be quite a pro about make-up. Since i'm such a noob i just believe her. there's nothing I can do really.
However, I did got my Protective Dual Powder Foundation UV (RM75) out of my own initiative to replace the Creamy Compact Foundation that I didnt get:I got myself shade #30 (based on the seller's recommedation. I never know whats the appropriate colour for me).This is the casing. but I liked the look of my old Compact Powder better.
Anyway, I have just started wearing make-up quite regularly since early this year -ever since i graduated. However, I chose light pink-ish and skin tones for eye shadow, for starters. I'm feeling a bit adventurous nowadays and decided to get darker tones because I have this intention to wear smoky eye once in a while. so I got myself: Color Powder CS #063 (RM26); andEye Colour Palette #001 (rm35).
And then I remember that I never had a proper lipstick before so I got myself:(Lipstick N) Rouge A Levres N #09 (RM30)

And now, I have to think how to survive for the next 20 days with the remaining dough that I have. which is very tight actually.