Monday Wrath

30 March 2009

Budak ICT: "Slm.Sarah,kite prsnt rabu nti blh x?Aku xsiap g part aku..Aku nk setel prOjek aku dlu..1 kene submit mlm ni,1 g submit esok.."

Aku Budak LAw: "xpe ko present je rabu. aku present hari ni."

Budak ICT: "Present sorg2 ke?Bkn group?

Aku Budak Law: aku present lineage je yg part aku je. yg lain camne? khatir n onn? diorang present ble?

Budak ICT: xtanye dorg..Kathr kate ari 2 present ari ni

Aku Budak Law: ok

i dont know why people always get misleading notion that they are busier than me. hello, i'm just a person who does my job on time, do it with approriate time management, and be cool about it.
I'm just not the type to freak out, act as if the world is ending and act like i dont even have the time to lift my face and greet people nicely and speak nicely and normally. I just dont feel the need to pull the long and busy face. eventhough I AM ACTUALLY BUSY.
if some people ever saw me do that to them its only because they did that to me. just returning the favor. but honestly, i'm just acting. honestly, i dont even HAVE to pull that look.
i'm laid back but not stupid. mess with me and u're on your own. since when ICT or Engineering is more important than Law? since when law students are not busy? okay, even if you people are sooooo busy, try to ponder the fact that i am a final year student. and one thing from that is clear: I AM BUSIER THAN YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.
gosh, even my fellow course mates thinks they are busier than me. even my best buddies.
discriminating apart, it is true that sometimes crazy lecturers gave work in the last minutes. but people, do not do antything you cant handle. so, if based on experience you know that you wont be able to do this things people gave you. in the first place DROP THAT SUBJECT so that you wont be MESSING WITH MY LIFE . registering a course carries the obligation that you must do your part. you can fail the subject coz the effect is only on you. but dont ever fail your teammates. because their life got nothing to do with you.

well because i met a lot of people like this, i am always prepared, i prepared another powerpoint in case i had to do it alone.heck, i even had time to be overly prepared, how come these people are busier than me? hey dude, nobody suck sarah's blood. i'm gonna let you die of exposure first before u can do that.

P/s: i am hungry and pissed off and this post is intended in all directions it hit. whatver!

Anak Abdul Karim

29 March 2009

Dah dua kali aku salah sangka dengan anak abdul karim.
it would seem that my pre-judgment cannot be trusted when it comes to Anak Abd Karim. Usually my 'judge the book by its cover' or first impression or intuition works perfectly with anyone. if i like that person on first meeting there's 99.9% chance that that person is likeable by me.

First case:
it was during short semester in matriculation centre. i just took one subject for fun to ease my burden for subjects for my last semester. actually it isnt a burden, i just took it for fun. there was no usual friends during short semester so i was pretty much lone ranger. played the Sims 2 during my free of class hours. it can be said my whole short semester consist of the Sims 2. I used to like to sit in second row from the front. I noticed this one girl with dark aura all over her. hahah. so i thought to myself the first time i saw her 'okay, i want nothing to do with this one...'. from that day onwards, my brain completely shut down around her and thus i successfully ignored her existence. but funnily enough we always sat side by side. one day, yeah one day, she started a conversation with me. i mean, she asked something (forgot la if its about the subject or stationery). i was surprised by the tone of her voice. it was polite and soft. and i thought 'wait, this doesnt suit her dark aura or my first impression'.
after that she is a friend that stick to me until now through my ups and downs and pretty much there most of the time when i was in deep shit. how many years is it now? her name is
NURULFIZAH ABDUL KARIM.... and the rest is history.

Second Case:
This semester i took UNGS2050: Ethics & fiqh for Everyday life. this is the last of my UNGS subject. normally people do not take UNGS subjects during the final year. well, its all because of my dilly dally. furthermore, this is a second year subject. i am a person who is quite inconsistent. i mean, i took methods of da'wah (third year subject) during my first year. funnily enough i end up pretty much lone ranger again in this class. surrounded by juniors. so i pretty much ignored everyone because my first impression on them was 'this people annoys me' and 'they should be ashamed for being a Muslim' it was all because each one of them never help the old and fragile looking lecturer. they can just leave him with his forgetfullness in taking class key or his illiteracy of computer. never offering a hand. well, i was annoyed with the lecturer too, but i will be very sorry if something happens to him if i did not do anything so i'm the one who ended up being a doorwomen and technician pretty much the whole semester. anyway, there was an open book test one day. it covers topics that we havent learned. There was this girl that my brain automatically shut down against but she was always beside me in class. i pretty much didnt notice her existence until the test. somehow, i was kind enough to lend her my advanced notes because i had my laptop and internet with me. i had to pass my notes to her a few times. i was quite annoyed that i even witheld my advanced notes until some time had passed even though i'm not using them. at first, i just gave her the notes that we have learned and i thought that was kind enough of me. so anyway, one day (again), the lecturer announced that he wanted us to do a book review or chapter review and a presentation. i was quite pissed off because the semester is ending and i need to study for finals. on the next class i asked this girl is she had done hers. and told her that i might never do it because i had no time. on the next class, she offered to put my name on her book review that she had done. being a prejudiced towards her, i said i will try to do on my own first and if i couldnt i will contact her for her help but i gave her my details anyway. and she agreed. on the next class, she was about to submit her book review and Alhamdullillah she put my name on it because i have no time to do it. i asked if i can read it before she submit and she agreed (prejudice!!!!) and it was a good one. i complimented her work and asked 'why do you want to help me?' she said, 'because you helped me with my test'.... OMG i mean this is one person who know how to return a favor and i was so prejudiced! AND her work is such a great blessing for me because i REALLY had no time and will to do it. her name was IZZAH ABDUL KARIM. and i was left with a pang of guilt and asked myself 'was this karma? destiny?'.

by the way those two arent related at all and doesnt know each other. but another similarity is: both of them are from Penang. NURULFIZAH ABDUL KARIM = Georgetown. IZZAH ABDUL KARIM = Gelugor.
OMG i just noticed that they are from a town that started with a 'G'
should i freak out or what?!

p/s: but i mostly should freak out that i am writing this post when i should have been studying!


26 March 2009

OMG.... camne aku bleh menulis lagi??? silelah sedar diri wahai sarah
tapi masalahnye aku nak announce kat seluruh Malaysia yg aku DAH SIAP PANDORA
pasal markah tu lain cerita la. yg penting aku dah siapppppppppppp
Ya Allah tak terkata kegembiraan aku nih. kalo aku kurus dan athletic nak je aku wat sommersault dan melompat-lompat kegembiraan. tapi sebab aku ni seorang yg cool. maka hasrat tu aku pendam je lah. ahahaha.
mula-mula aku rasa macam nak drive keluar UIA and pegi Cheras Leisure Mall atau OU untuk tengok apepe movie yg menarik. tapi disebabkan jarak yg jauh dan takde kawan maka aku batalkan shj niat tersebut. yelah, tak sempat sampai balik UIA nanti dah bosan sebab drive jauh tapi sorang je. kalaulah dekat-dekat sini dah ada panggung dah lama aku berkunjung.
tapi aku tetap nak gak keluar. the destination is: JJ Wangsa Maju. pada pendapat aku inilah tempat yg paling best nak hilangkan bosan berbanding sume tempat bosan yg lain spt Carrefour, Tesco & Giant di kawasan nih.
ape yg aku wat? sampai je dlm JJ aku tgk ada exhibition menjual kerepek dan kuih dari negeri-negeri di Malaysia. aku yg sememangnye lapar menerima dengan hati terbuka sample-sample yg dihulur. dahlah sedap. aku pun pusing-pusing kat situ mencari ape yg berkenan di hati. aku mmg dah niat nak jadi shopaholic hari ni. tetapi sbg pengguna yg bijak aku pegi masuk dalam market dulu sblm membeli kerepek yg diminati. kat situ aku beli ape? berus gigi, sushi dan potato salad (makanan gak yg aku nampak. maklumla lapor). pastu aku g survey foodcourt JJ. jalan-jalan cari makan. tapi kehalalan nye tidak aku yakini. maka aku pun naik ke MPH dan membeli majalah, masuk JJ lagik, kali ni beli mug plak. smlm mug aku pecah. dahlah mug tu comel. terpakse la membeli mug hodoh yg selepas diskaun harga dia RM3.50 jek. pastu aku masuk McD (alamak, dah tak boikot ke?). masalahnye mcD jek yg ada tanda halal besor and aku yakin dgn kehalalannye walau ape pun anda nak kata berbanding tempat2 makan lain yg ade disitu. according to maqasid is tahsiniyyat to eat halal food. plus, aku sangat la lapar...ini plak hajiyyat for protection of life. (warning: this is totally my excuse to justify myself). and lagi satu, dalam McD je yg mcm tak ramai org dimana aku bleh rileks-rileks sambil makan slow-slow. so akupun lepak situ sambil bace majalah. dengan selamba aku makan sekali potato salad yg dibeli di JJ tanpa menghiraukan jelingan tukang mop mcD (excusesssssss).
pas dah puas melepak dan habis membelek majalah women's weekly aku pun berjalan ke arah exhibition tersebut dan membeli rempeyek dal (3 = RM10) dan denderam(juga dikenali sbg telinga kel**g @ peneram). sumenye makanan fevret aku. pastu dengan beg plastik yg penuh di tangan aku pun melangkah pulang.
moral of the story, belilah kerepek di JJ.
terima kasih kerana membace bebelan saya.
saya sangat hepi.

Major works this whole semester:

PP draftings
Midterm tests x 7
evidence second test
Civil procedure: pandora draftings and hearing
Criminal procedure: Investigation paper & assignment
CPC court observation
Presentation CP
Presentation Evidence
Presentation PIL
Written submission PIL
Presentation Jurisprudence
Assignment/take home test jurisprudence
UNGS 2050 tests x 3
UNGS 2050 presentation
UNGS 2050 book review

5/4/09 = UNGS 2050 & PP
7/4/09 = Evidence
9/4/09 = PIL
11/4/09 = Jurisprudence
14/4/09 = CPC
16/4/09 = CP

What to do.....

25 March 2009

I hereby declare that i shouldnt be writing until the exam is over.
I said should not.
I didnt say will not.
but, perhaps not.
anyway, my first papers is on the 5th April.
Professional Practice together with Ethics and Fiqh for Everyday life.
I seriously dont know how to deal with two papers a day.
I refuse to think about the complications. I just want to get over and done with it.
All the best to me and all of u for the exams!

Public Intl LAw I Tutorial

21 March 2009

wk 14 asgnmt 12 state jurisdiction & immunity:

whether Malaysia have criminal jurisdiction over X, a foreign national, on a foreign vessel, registered in state A in following cases:

(a) X discharges firearm which kills someone on the Malaysian shore while the foreign vessel of which X was on board is passing through Malaysian territorial sea.

(c) X has been accused by State B of having committed acts of piracy and the foreign vessel has just arrived in a harbor within the Malaysian territory.

if it does, what type of jurisdiction would MAlaysia be exercising?
How would your answer differ if X was a naval officer and the foreign vessel was a foreign warship?

.....Dear Friends (tagged or untagged...doesnt matter...), if you happen to have the answer to this questions especially handouts by previous students i will appreciate it very much to be able to obtain it from you,
the thing is...i've been spending the whole day answering this but it turned out to be wrong and I dont have the energy to re-do everything......since i have to move on to next assignment. thanks for ur time....thanks in advance..... T_T

Honorary Doctorate?

17 March 2009

Berapakah harga sekeping PhD? disini harganya RM50,000.
but no worries,
even if u are the greatest failure u can still achieve that.
do they really gave PhD for being a failure? lol
can even get for free...

well, today the rain falls really heavy here....a big tree fell here.... I guess even the nature disagreed. just like i am. For the first time, i am ashame for being here...

Welcoming Maulidur Rasul

09 March 2009

Welcoming the Birthday of our Prophet (peace be upon him).
May our faith become stronger today.

Sehari Untuk Nadia Zawani @ Iruka

08 March 2009

Nadia adalah kawan aku sejak aku kanak-kanak hingusan. kalau tak silap, aku dah mengenali dia semenjak umur aku 7-8 tahun. Rupa-rupanya dah lebih 14 tahun kami berkawan. begitu pantasnya masa berlalu. Beliau adalah seorang artis (pelukis/seniman) yang sedang meningkat naik. sekarang ini dia sedang di tahun akhir Bachelor of Arts & Design (Fine Arts) di Uitm Shah Alam dan merupakan antara pelajar terbaik jurusan itu. boleh dikatakan kalau si Nadia ni melukis sempoi-sempoi, setakat RM300 memang lepas la. aku sendiri memiliki tiga buah karya si Nadia @ Iruka nih (aku mmg bijak kerana merembat karya dia seblom dia menjadi popular. ahaks). Sepanjang hari ni (7/3/2009), aku melepak dengan dia jek. maklumlah sudah berzaman kami tak berjumpe. sejak masing2 memiliki haluan hidup sendiri kami jarang hang out. aku pun sudah lupa bila kali terakhir kitorang hang out.
NAdia menghubungi aku pada malam semalam (6/3/2009) untuk bertanya samada aku free. kebetulan aku teringat kat dia je 2-3 hari ni sebab besday dia 8 MArch. setelah berbincang sesama sendiri Nadia setuju datang ke Gombak semata-mata untuk berjumpa dengan aku. Untuk itu aku telah reserve sepanjang hari ni khas untuk dia. sanggup aku menunggu laundry aku siap di mesin pada pukul 2.40pagi dan siap dijemur pada pukul 3 pagi supaya by the time aku nak hang out ngan dia kain aku dah siap kering. Tengahari tadi aku menjemput dia di Terminal Putra.
lepas tu
aku belanja dia makan kat Restoran Syed di Tmn MElawati kerana dia telah bersusah payah datang dari Kg. Malaysia Tambahan (dan jugak sebab besoknye besday dia. hehe). lepas dah kenyang dan habis bersembang dan update tentang member-member sekolah Nadia menjemput aku melawat galeri di KL. Ada opening ceremony artis yg terkenal yg wajar dilihat katanya. aku pun out of curiosity menjadi excited nak tengok.
Aku pun memandu masuk KL seperti rusa masuk kampung. sampai je di sana terserempak dengan geng-geng seperjuangan Nadia, dua perempuan dan empat lelaki. aku tak sempat bertanya na
ma. sorang je dpt - OS. peramah betul si Os tu. yang lain mcm malu-malu. aku lagile jenis tak tanye nama sangat. aku kagum melihat artworks seniman bernama Meme yg byk mengambil inspirasi dari lagu-lagu Slipknot dan My Chemical Romance. Untuk lebih detail tentang Art dan lawatan aku ke galeri tu, sile rujuk Post aku: Art Appreciator

Iruka (left) observing Meme's artworks.


Meme's Artwork in Diary form.

PAstu kami gerak ke KLCC plak untuk melawat Galeri Petronas. kat sini takleh ambik gambar. tapi takpelah, aku pun mmg tak minat sgt artworks yg ada disini. 17 Feb - 15 March adalah pameran karya Jeganathan Ramachandran bertajuk Human Watching. juga dipamerkan karya-karya Juhari Said, Zulkifli Yusoff, Shahrul Jamili dan Izan Tahir (five contemporary MAlaysian printmakers) yang bertajuk Go-Block. (goblock? haha). memanglah hari ni hari lawatan sambil belajar Seni untuk aku. Nadia menerangkan banyak teknik-teknik menghasilkan seni kat aku. Aku sebetulnye memang meminati seni. masalahnye aku tiada bakat. tapi takpe, aku bleh jadi art appreciator. haha. sekadar menghargai tapi tidak melukis. Mase kami kecik-kecik kat sekolah rendah dulu, selalu duduk kat belakang dan melukis manga (komik) sama-sama. kire kitorang dah lama jadik mangaka la. pastu kitorang tukar-tukar dan baca komik yg dilukis. memanglah sejak dulu kini dan selamanya lukisan nadia lebih cantik. ade satu mase kecik-kecik dulu aku jeles gile ngan dia dan hairan pesal aku takleh lukis cantik camtu. haha. tapi skrg aku bangge ngan nadia malah aku bersyukur dia memiliki bakat tersebut yang boleh mengisi periuk nasi dia. malah aku telah suka dengan lukisan-lukisan dia semenjak kami sama-sama di sekolah menengah. namun begitu, dulu aku pernah gak la menang saguhati pertandingan mewarna majalah Ujang dan juga johan pertandingan melukis anak-anak alumni SDAR. (aku tetap nak membuktikan bahawa aku takdelah buta seni sangat. ahahaha).
Keluar dari KLCC aku drive ke OU plak. Nadia nak g MPH untuk mencari bahan untuk artworks dia. aku pun sempat membeli seketul buku Charles Dickens bertajuk Little Dorrit yang kini telah banyak kali diadaptasikan menjadi filem. aku berjaya mencari edisi yang berharga RM13.90 berbanding edisi-edisi lain yang berharga RM35 ke atas. well, memanglah hodoh sikit cover buku aku ni tapi aku tak kisah. yang penting isinya. Nadia pun turut membeli buku Jane Austen yang bertajuk Emma. cashier kat situ junior kami di SMKSS. aku siyes tak ingat muka dia. alang-alang sebaya ngan aku pun aku dah lupe inikan plak junior. sahlah aku mmg tak amik tau pasal orang mase sekolah dulu. atau adekah ni bermakna aku dan Nadia popular kat sekolah? haha.
apepepun kami beramah mesra jugak la dengan dia semasa membayar. tapi sampai sudah muka dia tidak menimbulkan apepe ingatan di memori ku. awek tersebut berkata yang dia kini tinggal dekat2 kawasan OU gak. Nadia cakap bdak tu dulu kelas sciences. aku pun di dalam hati berasa kasihan dengan budak tu sebab last-last kami bdak arts stream gak yg maju dalam kehidupan (yeke?).
pastu kami pun balik. hari pun dah malam dan hujan lebat menemani kami sepanjang perjalanan ke Terminal Putra dari OU. Kerana hari sudah malam kami tidak sempat dinner bersama sebab Nadia kene naik tren nak balik umah. atas sebab-sebab yg tidak dapat dielakkan aku tak dapat nak mempermudahkan lagi perjalanan dia selain dari menghantar dia ke Terminal Putra. Aku beberapa kali cuba memujuk dia untuk tidur je kat Mahallah aku. tapi atas sebab-sebab yg tidak dpt dielakkan gak dia tidak dapat singgah.
Dengan itu berakhirlah reunion kami.

P/S: Happy Birthday to Nadia Zawani. My friend. 8th March 2009.

"If you could say, with truth, to your own solitary heart, to-night, 'I have secured to myself the love and attachment, the gratitude or respect, of no human creature; I have won myself a tender place in no regard; I have done nothing good or serviceable to be remembered by!' your seventy-eight years would be seventy-eight heavy curses; would they not?"
Charles Dickens: A Tale of Two Cities

On the contrary my friend, you certainly have the love and attachment of your family, the gratitude and respect of your friends and a tender place in my heart. You've had a 23 years of meaningful life. - Sarah.

Art Appreciator

Semalam, Nadia mengheret aku masuk ke kancah dunia pelukis (dramatik gile. haha).
My debut into the world started of with watching the opening of the showcase of artworks by Meme in R A Fine Arts ( Art Gallery) (Kuala Lumpur).

Pameran solo oleh Meme in mengetengahkan karya-karya seni sezaman yang bebas meneroka kemungkinan dari bentuk ciptaannya. Bentuk-Bentuk lukisan, catan, arca, cetakan, seni instalasi atau ciptaan ruang khusus (site specific) yang dicipta oleh Meme ini secara umum tidak lagi patuh kepada hukum dan tatacara biasa yang diperkaitkan dengan bentuk-bentuk tersebut. Keinginan untuk meneroka lebih jauh berdasarkan ideanya telah menolak karya-karya Meme ini kedepan dalam aspek bentukan. Keadaan ini disifatkan sebagai satu usaha eksploitasi kemungkinan baru dari asas fahaman lama berkaitan bentuk-bentuk seni yang konvensional. Maka dari itu kita telah dihidangkan dengan paparan karya-karya seni yang sebenarnya canggih dan mencabar untuk dipersepsikan secara biasa.
Pemahaman atau nikmat estetik kepada karya-karya Meme ini boleh dialami melalui kefahaman kepada strategik seni sezaman yang bersifat parodi, semiotik, dekonstruksi, interteks, simulakra dan perversi. Strategi-strategi ini yang biasa diperkaitkan dengan seni sezaman telah pula diangkat ketahap yang mendalam oleh Meme melalui rangsangan mimpinya atau ideanya. Bermakna karya-karya seni yang terhidang ini secara sedar dicipta dalam paradigma bentuk dan idea baru tanpa terbelenggu dengan aturan lama. Ia mewakili kompleksiti bentuk dan idea baru atau juga budaya visual baru dalam konteks seni sezaman tempatan. Ia dari sati segi mewakili bentuk idea dan semangat penerokaan baru oleh generasi pelukis muda Malaysia.
(Review oleh: Safrizal Shahir)

well, I cant say I really understand that. but from my own laymen observation I must say that his artworks is fresh and modern. Apart from songs from bands like Slipknot and My Chemical Romance I think he is also inspired by Tim Burton.

I personally think he should publish anime from Malaysia or made a manga just to upgrade those arena in our country. This goes to show that the producer is there but where is the effort?
Nadia used to like this kind or art when we were in high school. However, she said she prefers Under the Sea theme nowadays. Perhaps, she has matured :D

I've forgotten to take note of the title of the artworks. Nevertheless, here is some Artworks by Meme:


MxO finished!

04 March 2009

and so I'm done with all 99 chapters of MxO. wonder if there is any continuance? it should be since the story is not finished yet. What I am worried is they really have the continuance? coz i dont think i should download and read them all without a care of the world like i just did. Kuzumi is so cute. Think i adore him. thats his picture waving goodbye to his school (Seinagi) because he have to transfer to another magic school and improve himself there. Once in a while i rather have a cool character rather than the usual stupid guy with amazing ability. this one is the real cool guy.
anyway, lets stop here about manga.

Had two mid terms with 20% marks today. the first was at 11. It was Public Intl Law I. I didnt study last night coz I was sick. I actually used up all my energy and became weak. so I cant stay up to study. Fiza called at 1.30am to wake me up but i said 'ok' but then i had to go to sleep (even if i'm not sick i will go back to sleep anyway. i never actually succeeded being woken up after 12am for study).
So i woke up this morning still with the thing. went to Econs cafe to get my breakfast and stumbled with Liza and Sid there. Liza told me that i looked sick (i secretly liked looking sick coz people fuss over it. ahaks). I ate and went to LTB to study. tried to read as much as i can at 10.20am. and the exam started 11am. as expected, it went badly. oh btw, i cut all morning classes except the exam.
then i went to the IIUM Clinic to take some meds. tried to fish for a half day MC so that i can cut the Ethics' mid term to no avail. If you want to see Muslim Hitler just go to IIUM Clinic.
then i cut the 2pm class and went to 3.20-4.50pm midterm - Ethics & Fiqh for Everyday Life. this one i only began to read at 2pm while lying tiredly on my bed and trying not to sleep. I dont know how much i will lose out of the 20%. this is my last UNGS subjects and i wanted it to be an A. no secret about that. this is my only chance to pull up my CGPA. and one surest way to get that is by having the highest CAM. anyway, i tried my best. Luckily (well its so lucky that i'm always lucky otherwise i dont know how to live), my spot question came up. but even though i answer that question i dont actually know whether my answer to that spot question is the correct answer. coz there's no one to ask. so, i am not very sure about the marks. I was so tired and all i wanted to do is answer as fast as i could so that i can end this. I was the first to submit and leave the class.
even writing this is tiring. and i still have to study for another 20% midterm this Friday. the toughest of 4th year paper: Criminal Procedure (dark aura). for this one....must start early.

6. Which most accurately describes your faults?

02 March 2009

[ ] You feel deeply, but you let few know.
You are often extremely emotional and usually too brutally honest. You're often short with people who annoy you.
[ ] You have a slight tendency toward prejudice - perhaps you ought to get to know people better before you judge them.
[ ] You're a bit of a snob, and you tend to meddle.
[ ] You tend toward priggishness.
[ ] You're naive.
[ ] You are easily persuaded when you know you ought to stand firm.

hahahaha. right at the mark.

anyway, took a quiz from Gerald's blog:

I am Elinor Dashwood!

Take the Quiz here!

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.

Dunno whether i should publish this

01 March 2009

Ah, I've embarrassed myself again. how could i let out my own emotion to someone i shouldnt? and in the first place.... how could i became passionate about people who were unable to grasp the reason behind my outbursts? and then it made me bursts my dissatisfactions to a stranger. or at least, a friend who shouldnt know. again and again i did exactly what i shouldnt have done: "never argue with an idiot. they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". well thats not exactly what it meant in my situation. but nevertheless, it can be applied like this: "never feel for an idiot coz they will never get you". ah, now thats a philosophical view for my Gerald aint it? now now, I am not depressed over this. my life is miserable enough as it is. so i have no time to be depressed over this (did i just repeat myself twice?) what i am feeling is.... annoyance quite a negative feeling that could add up to my misery but not that serious. PEOPLE, why is it freedom of choice doesnt apply in friendship? coz i really would like to exercise that rights. the older i get, the more difficult for me to exercise it. people who are close to me know that i have a history (or rather, histories) of dumping a close friend because i dont agree with their attitudes. because i'd rather be friendless than be friends with people who dont appreciate the meaning of friendship. I told Fiza: "for me its like this: if u r just someone i know then whatever u do is ok (i dont care), but if ure my best/close friend...its either ure my best/close friend or you're not. you're the 'not' when you do something that made me think that u're not my best friend". So long ago I wrote that I am a friend who took friendship seriously. because thats the closest I get to doting family. i really appreciate it when someone enjoyed my friendship or like to be around me. I still feel and think the same. I cant choose my family. but i can choose my best friends. I dont want to be best friends with (in no particular order): 1) people with low EQ. 2) people who gets on my nerve or is simply annoying. 3) people who dont understand what i mean when i said something deep. 4) people who committed hudud crimes 5) people who committed almost like hudud crimes 6) people who calculates whether my company is better than what they can currently get in order to be with me. 7) people who ditch me for Paris Hilton and the likes. 8) immature people 9) pathetic people 10) people who doesnt have thoughts of their own. 11) sexually disoriented people. 12) people who thinks i am a waste of time and money. 13) people that most people generally hated. 14) indecisive people 15) most importantly, someone who doesnt share or have a common view of a friendship with yours truly. 16) a combination of any of the above. do me a favor if u r any of the above. stay away from me. at least, until u throw away that bad attribute. coz someone told me that i shouldnt exercise my freedom of choice. to avoid conflicts. coz my life is complicated enough without you. enough about that. now i would like to deal with someone from my past...