Dunno whether i should publish this

Ah, I've embarrassed myself again. how could i let out my own emotion to someone i shouldnt? and in the first place.... how could i became passionate about people who were unable to grasp the reason behind my outbursts? and then it made me bursts my dissatisfactions to a stranger. or at least, a friend who shouldnt know. again and again i did exactly what i shouldnt have done: "never argue with an idiot. they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". well thats not exactly what it meant in my situation. but nevertheless, it can be applied like this: "never feel for an idiot coz they will never get you". ah, now thats a philosophical view for my Gerald aint it? now now, I am not depressed over this. my life is miserable enough as it is. so i have no time to be depressed over this (did i just repeat myself twice?) what i am feeling is.... annoyance quite a negative feeling that could add up to my misery but not that serious. PEOPLE, why is it freedom of choice doesnt apply in friendship? coz i really would like to exercise that rights. the older i get, the more difficult for me to exercise it. people who are close to me know that i have a history (or rather, histories) of dumping a close friend because i dont agree with their attitudes. because i'd rather be friendless than be friends with people who dont appreciate the meaning of friendship. I told Fiza: "for me its like this: if u r just someone i know then whatever u do is ok (i dont care), but if ure my best/close friend...its either ure my best/close friend or you're not. you're the 'not' when you do something that made me think that u're not my best friend". So long ago I wrote that I am a friend who took friendship seriously. because thats the closest I get to doting family. i really appreciate it when someone enjoyed my friendship or like to be around me. I still feel and think the same. I cant choose my family. but i can choose my best friends. I dont want to be best friends with (in no particular order): 1) people with low EQ. 2) people who gets on my nerve or is simply annoying. 3) people who dont understand what i mean when i said something deep. 4) people who committed hudud crimes 5) people who committed almost like hudud crimes 6) people who calculates whether my company is better than what they can currently get in order to be with me. 7) people who ditch me for Paris Hilton and the likes. 8) immature people 9) pathetic people 10) people who doesnt have thoughts of their own. 11) sexually disoriented people. 12) people who thinks i am a waste of time and money. 13) people that most people generally hated. 14) indecisive people 15) most importantly, someone who doesnt share or have a common view of a friendship with yours truly. 16) a combination of any of the above. do me a favor if u r any of the above. stay away from me. at least, until u throw away that bad attribute. coz someone told me that i shouldnt exercise my freedom of choice. to avoid conflicts. coz my life is complicated enough without you. enough about that. now i would like to deal with someone from my past...