Rhapsody: Fav quotes from How I Met Ur Mother

15 October 2008

Fav quotes from How I Met Ur Mother

Mary the Paralegal[1.19]

Barney: [To Ted] Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
Marshall: : Do you really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yeah, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!

Barney: That’s adorable Ted. You’re such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that 1 out of every 8 adult women in America is a prostitute.
Marshall: Dude you just made that up.
Barney: Withdrawn.
Marshall: Lawyered!

World's Greatest Couple [2.5]

Ted: Is that a toilet in your kitchen?

Robin: Or a stove in your bathroom?

Lily: Oh...that's not just a stove. That's a stoveinkerator! A combination of a stove, oven, sink and refrigerator. Stoveinkerator! Isn't that futuristic?!

Ted: God I hope not.

Atlantic City [2.8]

Marshall: Hi, we need a marriage license but we need to skip the waiting period because we're in love.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?
Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: [clenched teeth] Why are you doing this to us?
Clerk: Because you're on Candid Camera!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say--
Marshall: You know what, we get it.

Monday Night Football [2.14]

Marshall: But just to make sure it records, maybe we should bow our heads and say a quiet prayer to the TiVo gods.

Ted: Almighty TiVo, We thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of god-like. And let's not forget fast-forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, o magic box, but if you malfunction and miss the Super Bowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats.

Marshall and Ted: Amen.

No comments:

Sarah's books

Encyclopedia of Cat Breeds

by J. Anne Helgren

this is the best cat book thus far that I have

The Colour of Magic / The Light Fantastic

by Terry Pratchett

William & Catherine: Their Romance and Royal Wedding in Photographs

by David Elliot Cohen

The Maze Runner

by James Dashner

those kids r supposed to be geniuses but until 2 yrs they cant figure out the way out of the maze. it took a boy who in a couple of days solved everything. I think its not that logical. I got the whole idea of the story but still not tha...

Hogfather

by Terry Pratchett

The Cat Selector: How to Choose the Right Cat for You

by David Alderton

Inheritance: Or the Vault of Souls

by Christopher Paolini

if only the ending is as thrilling as the beginnning. sigh.

Jude the Obscure

by Thomas Hardy

i guess i didnt like it after all.

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