I went to take a peak at my old blog just now and i'm sad that i cant write as much as that anymore. my mind just went blank ..... everytime i typed a sentence or two. or my eyes felt tired. or i became disinterested to write further and thus i wrote faster and simpler.
A few moths ago i emptied my parent's house from all of my stuffs. I found my old diaries. I was quite amazed at the way i write and describe things when i was in high school. I can actually laugh, sympathize, and enjoyed at what my old self had written. i wonder where all that has gone to. perhaps it went away together with my old view of life that i can no longer remember. sometimes i wonder who was i when i was 17. i seriously have forgotten.
i still have this faraway dream of being a writer. but with how things goes and the way i write now i guess i should have decided and be one when i was in high school. because i write so much better then. I should have looked at my dream seriously back when my english teacher cried at an examination essay that i had written. i even lost that masterpiece. as i grew up to be more practical i lost that strong sense of imagination when i was a kid. When i was in primary school, i used to love whenever they have essay test or exam. Back then, i didnt even realize that i was writing. I was lost in the world that i created. the people that i created. the story that i created. writing is what i do best back then.
i miss that. i wonder if i can go back to that. perhaps i should drop everything and stay home any try to make up stories. the house that i live in now is perfect for that kind of work.
well that was just a dream
I dont think its practical to go on chasing dream.
perhaps i can chase it if i'm still breathing after i reached my retirement age.
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